George, the bloke who does the window cleaning came in today with his brother. He’s a skilled builder but does window cleaning in between jobs, which is why you can’t see through our windows a lot of the time. George is a laugh a minute, a real comedian. He also says it like it is:
“I’m going down to number 10 or 11 and I’m going to say, ‘you’ve told me that you understand the way I feel, you’ve told me how much you care, so give us a hug.” I’m sorry I don’t get him, I just don’t get him – maybe it’s me. The thing is he doesn’t talk to a bloke like me. He’s way up there. He’s very clever yes but he doesn’t know much about people. He hires all these researchers to find out how people like me feel and that’s not right. The job is for someone who knows … that’s what the job is about. The job is for someone who listens. He doesn’t listen to the likes of me.”
Well George it’s what’s called selective listening and many of us experience this at least once a day. The enthusiastic salesperson turns into a gut wrenching stressor as they refuse to listen to anything but what will give them more leverage to make you buy. The boardroom bully, who talks over you and listens with glassy eyes. The delivery of a report, in one order, in spite of your interjections that highlight your priorities.
I don’t exactly need to hear birdsong and cows lowing in the background, but please take it easy on those of us who like to listen and be listened to. Communication is about listening and responding. Reggie Yates my current favourite DJ on Radio , is a star at this. He really gets a good “phone tone” out of the people who call him. What you give is what you get.
Trevor Nunn gives his actors exercises in listening. When you know your own lines and your fellow actors, it’s easy to stop really listening, but boy does it show! F Parkes Associates – Max Your Voice, deliver Listening Skills Coaching as part of their Interview Skills Training. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for a free consultation.